My Mom rocks. Yesterday she was not able to meet her goals so we couldn't visit her. Today, she came roaring back with a vengeance. When we called the social worker today to ask if we could come, she said that not only did Mom accomplish enough of her goals for us to see her, but she accomplished all her goals in therapy today!! Then the social worker called us back just as we were getting ready to leave to tell us that she had talked to Mom's PT who told her that one of Mom's goals for today was to take four steps. She got that far and then said, "I want to do more" and took an additional step!! And then when we got there to see Mom, she told us that when she first went to therapy this morning, she wasn't able to meet her goals so she asked if she could go back to try again!
She told Dad, "I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to see you again today."
According to Mom's psychologist, she is doing "fantastic." Everyone is really noticing the difference and he said she is working hard with him to do all he asks in helping her get better. This man has been such a blessing. He's really giving so much of his time to truly invest in helping her. His attention seems to have been a catalyst for her. To be honest, I don't think I've felt this (cautiously) optimistic in a long time.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Very Good Things: Mom edition
After a rocky start to the week, Mom has met her goals for the past two days! Way to go, Mom! We are so proud of her. Not only that, but she seems more and more engaged, not only with us, but with the aides and nurses at her facility. She's joking with the aides and remembering their names (and introducing them to us!). Tonight she actually invited us to stay through dinner and didn't want us to go. The best part of all of this is she is having some real physical challenges in the bathroom arena (these things happen when she is super anxious) and she is still working hard at therapy. We are so thrilled, I can't even tell you.
Highlights from today: Mom stood with assistance for four minutes (magic number, I guess) and practiced transfers (moving from one seated place to another). She only slipped into negativity once while we were there and was very gracious when the nurse asked her to wait for something. As I mentioned above, she was joking and friendly with the aides who helped her, and then when we went down to the dining room she chatted a little with her table mates. The most encouraging sign to me happened after the aide got her in place at the table and left. Mom was cold and Dad asked if she wanted some hot chocolate. She mumbled something about wanting some, "if there was someone to get it for me." Then, instead of feeling sorry for herself, when she heard an aide at the next table offering to get drinks for a lady there, she lifted her head and called out, "Could we get two, please?" (One for her and one for Dad!)
Okay, I know that sounds strange maybe, but it is huge for Mom to be able to want something, acknowledge that want, and then assert herself appropriately to get it!
Very good things.
One matter of prayer, however. Although Mom is working hard and doing well, we are about halfway through the time insurance will allow for her to be in this facility. Our goal is to get Mom home functioning at (or better than) the level she was before. We've still got a long way to go and unless she really pours it on, we might have to make some tough decisions.
Highlights from today: Mom stood with assistance for four minutes (magic number, I guess) and practiced transfers (moving from one seated place to another). She only slipped into negativity once while we were there and was very gracious when the nurse asked her to wait for something. As I mentioned above, she was joking and friendly with the aides who helped her, and then when we went down to the dining room she chatted a little with her table mates. The most encouraging sign to me happened after the aide got her in place at the table and left. Mom was cold and Dad asked if she wanted some hot chocolate. She mumbled something about wanting some, "if there was someone to get it for me." Then, instead of feeling sorry for herself, when she heard an aide at the next table offering to get drinks for a lady there, she lifted her head and called out, "Could we get two, please?" (One for her and one for Dad!)
Okay, I know that sounds strange maybe, but it is huge for Mom to be able to want something, acknowledge that want, and then assert herself appropriately to get it!
Very good things.
One matter of prayer, however. Although Mom is working hard and doing well, we are about halfway through the time insurance will allow for her to be in this facility. Our goal is to get Mom home functioning at (or better than) the level she was before. We've still got a long way to go and unless she really pours it on, we might have to make some tough decisions.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
On the Mom seesaw
It's been a week since Mom's psychologist instituted his motivational plan for her. Overall, I would say that it's having some success, but of course there are ups and downs. After all, it is a big change for her.
She actually really impressed me by starting off strong. Last Tuesday (the first day) and Wednesday she met her goals and we were able to visit. Thursday was a wipeout, but she did it again Friday (for her to have a bad day and then come back the next day is huge!). No therapy over the weekend, and yesterday, though she didn't meet her goals (by now she has to do 85% of her therapy) her social worker said she tried really hard. Today was another wipeout.
From where she was coming, I'm frankly surprised she's doing as well as she has. I know it's tough for her. (Her psychologist is also working on changing around her medications so she's less somnolent which will be helpful.)
The best part for me is that working hard is lifting the fog she's been in just a little. Friday when Dad and I visited, she seemed more what I call her "real" self. She seemed more emotionally engaged and when she thought Dad and I were leaving almost pleaded with me, "I just want to spend a little more time with him." That's a first since she's been there. Usually she's very "flat" (if that makes sense) and whether we're there or not doesn't seem to matter much.
Funny, but though it doesn't seem like there's much to be positive about, I'm ecstatic that there is something to be positive about. Before it was like Mom was on a seesaw by herself, just sitting at the bottom. Now there's something on the other side so that even when she comes down, it's because she's been up.
She actually really impressed me by starting off strong. Last Tuesday (the first day) and Wednesday she met her goals and we were able to visit. Thursday was a wipeout, but she did it again Friday (for her to have a bad day and then come back the next day is huge!). No therapy over the weekend, and yesterday, though she didn't meet her goals (by now she has to do 85% of her therapy) her social worker said she tried really hard. Today was another wipeout.
From where she was coming, I'm frankly surprised she's doing as well as she has. I know it's tough for her. (Her psychologist is also working on changing around her medications so she's less somnolent which will be helpful.)
The best part for me is that working hard is lifting the fog she's been in just a little. Friday when Dad and I visited, she seemed more what I call her "real" self. She seemed more emotionally engaged and when she thought Dad and I were leaving almost pleaded with me, "I just want to spend a little more time with him." That's a first since she's been there. Usually she's very "flat" (if that makes sense) and whether we're there or not doesn't seem to matter much.
Funny, but though it doesn't seem like there's much to be positive about, I'm ecstatic that there is something to be positive about. Before it was like Mom was on a seesaw by herself, just sitting at the bottom. Now there's something on the other side so that even when she comes down, it's because she's been up.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Ode to Joe
My husband is really the best.
He helps Dad so that I can get rest.
He takes garbage out,
Lets it slide when I pout,
Listens while I get things off my chest.
He constantly watches my list
To keep up with how he can assist.
Though his worries turn east
And I can be a beast,
He is quick with a hug and a kiss.
He loves my dad as though he was his,
Loves my mom just as she is.
Makes me smile when I'm sad,
Tries hard not to get mad,
What a partner to have in this biz!
This is sillier than I intended,
But you all know he should be commended.
"An angel" Aunt Jim said,
(Which will go to his head!),
I'm just blessed to be thusly best-friended.
He helps Dad so that I can get rest.
He takes garbage out,
Lets it slide when I pout,
Listens while I get things off my chest.
He constantly watches my list
To keep up with how he can assist.
Though his worries turn east
And I can be a beast,
He is quick with a hug and a kiss.
He loves my dad as though he was his,
Loves my mom just as she is.
Makes me smile when I'm sad,
Tries hard not to get mad,
What a partner to have in this biz!
This is sillier than I intended,
But you all know he should be commended.
"An angel" Aunt Jim said,
(Which will go to his head!),
I'm just blessed to be thusly best-friended.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Immunity
Today, I'm feeling like I've won immunity on a reality tv show. Some how, some way I've been given a pass to the next round. But that's no guarantee I can keep going.
Joe got home safe last night. Yay! Thanks so much for all who were concerned and praying for him. It was a tough week for him and the family. We sure wish things didn't have to be this way, but the place his dad in is very nice, so we are happy about that at least. And I am happy to have him here again with me.
Yesterday's meeting with Mom and her psychologist went as well as could be expected (thanks for your prayers on that front, too). He very gently and kindly told her the expectations we had for her to get better and outlined a plan to motivate her to achieve them: each day, the psychologist will meet with her and go over her goals for physical/occupational therapy, he will try to talk through them with her in order to alleviate any fears (she's worried she will fall) and problem solve for any potential issues that may come up in therapy (if she is tired in the afternoon, perhaps morning would be a better time to work out). Mom must work her way up to doing at least 90% of what she is asked in therapy over the next few days (today she had to do 50%, tomorrow 65%, the next day 75%, the next day 90% and stay there). In order to motivate her, family visits will be contingent upon her meeting the percentage required.
I'm happy to report that today, Mom was able to meet 50% of her goals. Dad was so thrilled, we stopped and picked up roses on the way to see her! Mom herself seemed a little less negative while we were there. Small steps, but we are cautiously optimistic.
Joe got home safe last night. Yay! Thanks so much for all who were concerned and praying for him. It was a tough week for him and the family. We sure wish things didn't have to be this way, but the place his dad in is very nice, so we are happy about that at least. And I am happy to have him here again with me.
Yesterday's meeting with Mom and her psychologist went as well as could be expected (thanks for your prayers on that front, too). He very gently and kindly told her the expectations we had for her to get better and outlined a plan to motivate her to achieve them: each day, the psychologist will meet with her and go over her goals for physical/occupational therapy, he will try to talk through them with her in order to alleviate any fears (she's worried she will fall) and problem solve for any potential issues that may come up in therapy (if she is tired in the afternoon, perhaps morning would be a better time to work out). Mom must work her way up to doing at least 90% of what she is asked in therapy over the next few days (today she had to do 50%, tomorrow 65%, the next day 75%, the next day 90% and stay there). In order to motivate her, family visits will be contingent upon her meeting the percentage required.
I'm happy to report that today, Mom was able to meet 50% of her goals. Dad was so thrilled, we stopped and picked up roses on the way to see her! Mom herself seemed a little less negative while we were there. Small steps, but we are cautiously optimistic.
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